In Spite of All the Damages

Looking at the Highlights on my Facebook page this morning, I found photos of an estranged friend Ellen's new baby girl on her sister's page. I am friends with her sister, not with her, due to my lack of communication and effort on my part to keep in touch...and blowing off a visit the morning after a bachelorette party as a result of a nasty hangover. At the time, the nausea and pounding headache clouded my ability to process the consequences of not showing up. It wasn't until a few emails went out with no reply I realized my mistake.

Ellen and I ran into each other one night, out to dinner with different people at the same restaurant in Atlanta. She had dated one of my friends in college. I always had the feeling she didn't like me very much. We were never more than acquaintances, really. We exchanged phone numbers, said we should go to dinner sometime. Holed up in my little apartment in Alpharetta, I declined several times she called to invite me out. Finally, realizing spending all my time alone wasn't a healthy way of life, I accepted a dinner invitation. I had the time of my life. We became fast friends, spending most of our weekends together. I crashed on her couch frequently. She saved my from myself.

Over two years, we had several adventures, made a lot of memories. When she fell in love and decided to move back to KY, I was devastated. It was like I was losing a part of myself. We kept in touch pretty well for awhile, until after her wedding. She was busy, starting her life with her husband and preparing for their first child. Not long after their wedding I met my future husband, became wrapped up in the courting rituals. My job had become more demanding as well, making it difficult to visit. Our friendship fell by the wayside.

This is not the first time I have been frivolous with friendship. It seems to be a pattern I have followed all my life. I fail to make the effort it takes to nurture and maintain friendships. There are some exceptions, like my friend Addie. Still, I don't always call enough, don't make an effort to spend time with her when I go home. It's a miracle she puts up with me. Though I don't know if I can repair broken friendships of the past, I can do my best to keep the ones I have now.